The general attitude we have towards living our lives is determined by early life experiences and the mental models we created from them.
Having a mindset of positive expectation is different from expecting only gloom and failure... and it is determined by the kind of attachment we had with our mothers.
A secure attachment is the result of having a constant mother or care-giver who understood how to solve our needs. A person that has a secure attachment expects the world to be a sane, predictable and kind place. A person who has a strong self-esteem will behave accepting what life offers as an endless learning opportunity. If we had discontinuity in care or a mother too anxious to be relaxed and present, we will walk in life expecting that the world will fail to deliver what we need... and that risk and negativity lurk somehow in the future.
Regardless the kind of experiences we went through before, we need now a strong self esteem to be able to thrive; a good self-esteem is important and needs your dedication. Is it possible for us now to choose between a more relaxed, calm and efficient way to live, instead of being apprehensive and fearful, always looking for the negative event we need to prevent and protect from?
Yes. Of course, our previous experiences still are framing the way we deal with the world today. If we were protected, helped and nurtured, we will see the universe as a peaceful entity, ready to give us what we need or deserve... If we have been frustrated and grew up in a scarcity environment, then we will look at life with dread expecting any next setback to produce serious damage to our life.
Not only does our attitude affect us, it also affects those around us, in short our mood modifies our environment. Developing and keeping a positive outlook is essential if we wish to lead a positive and fulfilling life. Once we realize how important is to take care of a weak self-esteem that is shaping a poor attitude towards life, we need to find a way to change it.
There are many ways in which we can develop a more positive mindset, if we want to. We can begin to change how we think and feel about many situations that we encounter in day-to-day living, turning them from sure catastrophes into learning opportunities. Changing attitude and not slipping back into negative thinking will take time and serious efforts, but eventually the new mindset will become second nature.
This is the process to change your mindset:
- Be aware of your negative thoughts; and practice on a daily basis on becoming more and more aware. When you set a goal for yourself, focus on completing one task at a time and think only of a positive outcome for it and experience the positive feelings related to task completion. Probably there will be some doubts about your capacity to finish, but don't get scared so easily and keep going.
- Watch out when you begin conversations using negative comments, and don't allow others around you to talk in those terms. Find the good aspect hidden in everything and any situation. Praise others' positive actions; be fast in recognizing the merits of tasks well done.
- Whatever you are doing in your day-to-day life, keep watching out for negative thoughts that put your resolve in jeopardy. Find the silver lining in any challenge!
- Be patient with setbacks; you have been thinking in a negative way for too long... if you catch yourself saying some negativity, ask yourself: What good result can come from this situation? You will find over time that many areas of your life can be improved just by changing your mindset from a negative one to a positive.
Following this conscious transformation path, you will find that your self-esteem improves, you become more confident in being able to achieve your goals, you feel happier than before, and your relationships improve! These are just a few of the areas where you can transform your life by learning to behave from a more positive mindset and thus build up a happier life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nora_Femenia
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