The Two Faces Of Stress

In order to better equip you to deal with stress; I want to teach you exactly what stress is and how to protect your mind from the damaging effects of stress. If you follow my few keys to successfully dealing with stress, you will even learn to use stress to help you reach greater heights in health and well-being.

Believe it or not, stress can be a positive force in our lives. If we know how to use stress, it can stimulate us to achieve rather than overcome us and make us fail.

What determines the differences between the two is largely based in our attitudes. Whether we achieve or fail in our dealings with stress depends upon whether we see stress as a positive or negative force.

In large part, whether an event is negative stress or positive stress relies upon how we approach it. Two people facing the very same life scenario, for example, can either be exhilarated or devastated. One man's trash is another man's treasure.

The differences are in the people not the event.

The differences are in whether you perceive the event as exhilarating, or you perceive the event as devastating. The differences are in the perception.

Ironically, our bodies react to both types of stress with an "adrenalin dump". Hormones flood into our bodies creating the same biochemistry in both positive and negative stress situations.

Neuroscience has definitively shown us that there is very little difference between fear and excitement, and that it is the mind that creates the difference between exhilaration and terror. However we interpret an event... as positive stress or negative stress... our bodies respond similarly. Our bodies respond to stress.

Imagine being on a roller coaster. On a purely physiological level-- as the ride moves up and down, changing its direction, changing its speed--we are stimulated, indeed, over-stimulated.

Millions of people ride roller coasters to enjoy them. For them, that over-stimulation is exhilarating. They enjoy roller coasters and actually anticipate the ride with positive expectation.

Then, there are those who absolutely do not enjoy the roller coaster. Their minds see the same ride and the same possibility, but make a significant switch to another experience. Rather than anticipate exhilaration, they dread or fear the experience.

They resist.

But here's the rub: once you're on the ride, that's it!

There's nothing you can do but be there. You can't get off until the ride is over. Let's say that no matter what your expectation, the ride is mandatory. Now you have to ask yourself, "How am I going to do this ride?"

This is a great example of how our minds can determine our experience. We can have a negative stress experience by resisting the roller coaster ride and screaming no, no, no, I hate this the whole time, or we can have a positive stress experience on the roller coaster and be exhilarated!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marco_Auciello

Success Is Kind to the Individual

History points out the successful person was, more often than not, the person with a dream that followed his own heart.

A favoured quote attributed to Albert Einstein is: 'If you follow the crowd, you will go no further than the crowd. But, if you walk alone, and find your own way, you will likely find yourself in places no one has ever been before.'

Just Google 'inventors' to see a list of people, from all walks of life, that became successful by being unique. All of them thought outside the box. Each believed in their own ideas and they took action on those ideas to accomplish their goals.

When society says something can't be done... successful people will go ahead and do it anyway! They will ignore conventional wisdom, they will break a few rules and they will prove their beliefs to be valid. And... they will do that often in the face of harsh criticisms and ridicule.

Successful people are tough minded, opinionated, stubborn and focused. Does this describe you? Or, do you lack focus or drive? Do you worry what others say? Do you stick to your beliefs or can others talk you out of it? In other words, should you make a few changes in personality, and adopt the 'inventor mindset'? It just might improve your chances for achievement.

Now I am not saying you have to invent some miraculous 'time machine' or a fabulous wonder drug to 'double life expectancy'. Although, those would be wonderful. What I am saying is, no matter what you choose to do, can you do it in such a way that you stand out from the crowd?

Whatever your area of expertise, can you make it more efficient? Can you make a process quicker? Can you make a product smaller or use a better material in it's manufacture?

Can you figure out how to sell more of something? Or can you sell something for more profit? Can a product be safer or cheaper or give better results? Do you know of a better way to reach more people? How would you teach a subject and improve a student's understanding? Why do furnace filters have to clog up? Why do batteries need to be recharged?

What problems can you solve for people?

There are an infinite number of things to think about and improve upon in the world; and, you could be a success just by solving one of these tiny problems for enough people!

As the earth's population grows, the increase, in the number of people, automatically creates more and more problems to be solved. So the question isn't 'if you will be successful', the question is, 'how soon you succeed'.

Like successes down through history, be an individual, think for yourself, ignore criticism and take action! Besides... if you're trying to be unique... why are you worrying about the rules?

Article Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Donald_G_Gaw

How to Be Bold and Confident

The Number One Fear

If I were to ask you, "What is the single greatest fear of a person today," I would imagine that there would be a lot of different answers. There would be a good majority that would answer, "Death." Then, there would be others that would say something along the lines of "not being loved" or "not being liked in society." You would also have to throw in all of those random fears for those who fear so many things it gets almost ridiculous. You know, those people who might be afraid of milk. Or bus boy rags that are used to wide off tables after someone has left the restaurant. All of these are justifiable answers (well, most of them), but none of them are the number one fear of people today.

Drum Roll, Please

The number one fear of people today is...

Public Speaking.

Yes, that is correct. Public speaking. Death is a solid number two. That means that, as a majority, the world would rather die than to speak in front of people. Why is this? The human mind comes up with a lot of crazy ideas. It tries to process every possible situation that could occur. The funny thing is that a lot of these scenarios that the brain produces focus on the negative, or how things could go wrong. The mind produces a good amount more of bad scenarios than good scenarios, when it comes to things we fear.

The Struggle

With all of that being said, one of the hardest things to do is overcome your fear. In this case, the fear of public speaking is the hardest to overcome. You might be asking, "How do I overcome the fear of public speaking?" There are different ways of doing this, but the main cure to fear of public speaking centres on one thing: confidence. Confidence is the main struggle that a lot of people have that causes us to fear speaking in front of people. Notice, I did not say self-esteem. I realize that self-esteem and confidence might want to go hand-in-hand here, but there are a lot of people with great self-esteem that still get flustered whenever they get up in front of people.

The Cure

Now, there are a couple of things that can aid you in your quest of "how to be bold and confident." Let me help you get started by showing you 3 simple things to get you going.

1. Know what you're talking about. If you don't know what you're talking about, how can you be confident in what you're saying? One thing to learn is that, if you believe it, you can be confident in telling others about it.

2. Get the right mindset. Confidence has a lot to do with the mind. The right mindset takes a lot of preparation and concentration for some people. Have that mindset where, no matter what happens, you will do your best and knock them out. This might seem hard to do, but, most of the time, "psyching yourself out" proves to be a solid way to start. Once you start and get some practice in whatever it is you're trying to do, you will get more and more comfortable speaking.

3. Apply. You have to be able to take what you know and apply it. Whether you practice first to get warmed up to bigger things or you want to "knock 'em dead" with the first attempt, take what you learn and apply it. It might take a little bit of time to actually "see" results. I put see in quotes there to bring up a point. You might look at yourself from the inside-out and think that you are failing miserably, but that is not always the case for those who see you from the outside. People may not "catch" that you're nervous if you know what you're talking about and have the right mindset.

One More Thing

There are other ways of how to become bold and confident that are different than the mental aspect. People find many different ways to be bold. Some people get tattoos. Others put it on their vehicles. But one of the best ways to be bold is to wear clothes of what you believe. Clothing has turned into one of the biggest advertising schemes in the world. It is a great resource, and it should not go to waste.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=DJ_Szydlowski

How to Build Self Confidence in Yourself Fast!

Even the most outwardly confident people have moments when their self confidence isn't as high as they'd like it to be. And mere mortals like you and me usually have more of those times when we're nowhere near as confident as we'd like to be. Here are some simple tips to help build self confidence in yourself.

Dress well

Dress to impress doesn't just work on other people. If you're scruffy, you won't be helping your self confidence one bit.

You don't have to wear a suit or similar - it can be as simple as having clothes that fit you comfortably and have maybe seen an iron rather than helping you look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

Simply taking a pride in your appearance - including your clothes - can help give you the edge in the self confidence stakes.

Learn to smile

They say "smile and the world smiles with you" and that's a lot truer that it seems at first glance.

Smiling changes your internal attitude - it triggers other parts of your body to be happier.

It also changes how people perceive you - most people prefer to be around happy, smiling people than being with someone who drags the whole atmosphere downwards as if their own personal thunderstorm has now started to drench everyone who comes into close contact with them.

So practice smiling again and notice how it shifts your attitude and the attitude of the people you come into contact with.

Be grateful

Saying the simple words "thank you" can make all the difference.

They're a signal that you're grateful for whatever has just happened - whether it's being served by someone in a shop or restaurant or something else entirely.

If you can without it seeming weird and contrived, say the words "thank you" out loud.

If it's not appropriate to say the words out loud, say them in your head. It will have a very similar effect and will help you to exude more confidence.

Watch your posture

Slouching isn't good.

Nor is pointing your head constantly downwards like a sullen teenager.

Look ahead or slightly upwards and you'll feel happier.

In fact, it's near enough impossible to be grumpy when your head is looking up - that's one of the reasons that fast food restaurants have their menus above head height.

Get some exercise

Exercise releases endorphins - our own natural happiness drug that our body manufactures.

Exercise helps your body to manufacture endorphins and they go on to give you a happiness boost which will, in turn, help build your self confidence.

It doesn't have to be hard "gym rat" exercise either. Even just a slightly brisker walk than normal will make a difference. Or taking the stairs rather than the elevator. Or even just parking your car further from the entrance to the shopping mall than you normally would, forcing yourself to take a few extra steps.

Give one or more of these tips a short trial and notice how they help to build your self confidence.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Trevor_Johnson

Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

Are you often your own worst enemy? Do you tend to either blame others for your perceived problems, fail to fully and properly analyse needs, or insufficiently or inadequately plan, or tend to avoid to take meaningful, timely action? Is your self-belief such that your first thought is often doubt rather than confidence? Do you spend inordinate amounts of time on useless activities such as worrying or thinking of why you are going to fail? Do the words that come out of your mouth quickly develop a negative attitude that pervades every aspect of your existence, and contributes to a lack of self-confidence that nearly debilitates you? While many of us do not even think about these things, an objective observation of your behaviour often indicates weaknesses that often cause you to end up being your own worst enemy.

1. Self-doubts often pervade our behaviour and brings on an overriding avoidance of needed self-beliefs and self-confidence. Our inner strength is derived from whether we believe in our personal value and values. Without those traits, we lead ourselves down the road that leads to a paralysis of analysis, where we prioritize avoiding conflict, action, issues, or anything that may challenge us, and develop an affinity for over-reliance on the easy and mundane, which permits us to hide inside a rather limiting comfort zone.

2. How much time a day to you spend worrying or concentrating about what might be uncomfortable, challenging, or may go in an alternative direction? When we wallow in our worries and dwell on self-pity, we diminish out potential for personal growth or improvement. Too many are so fearful of doing something wrong that they choose to do nothing at all, and then wonder why they did not achieve what they claimed they hoped for. It is important to consider if this non-productive behaviour is because of some fear of failure, or is it rather a fear of success. Many individuals subconsciously fear success or good results, because they want to keep expectations low, so that they will not fail and disappoint in the future. When we read this it often seems nearly absurd, yet we witness this regularly in an overwhelming number of conditions and situations.

3. Are your words holding you back, and creating a less than optimal destiny? Is your initial reaction to challenges to revert to words such as can't, don't, impossible, problem, etc? Or, do you view obstacles as challenges that need to be overcome, and focus on transforming them to ways to get things accomplished, in a positive, proactive and positive manner.

You can either be your own best friend, or your worst enemy? It's always up to you!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Richard_Brody

Here's Why You Must Embrace Adversity

Can you name a time in your life when adversity of some sort kicked you square in the teeth yet you forged ahead? Did you grow in character, maturity, and grace? Did you even manage to show gratitude for that not so pleasant experience?

If so, you have risen to a level of awareness and consciousness well beyond that of the masses, and you are undoubtedly on the path to creating the life of your dreams. If not, you likely felt like a victim and/or blamed someone or something for what happened to you. Did you give up, complain about how hard your life was, or play the "why me" game? Then you likely found yourself remaining on a lower plane and experiencing more adversity, resulting in your not getting any closer to where you want to be in life or manifesting the life of our dreams.

Why is it so important for us to embrace adversity? And, why is it equally as important for us to show our gratitude for any adversity? If you don't already know the answer to these questions, you may very well have an "aha" moment when you read and absorb the answer here. It's because every adversity holds within it a lesson to be learned. If we do not recognize the lesson adversity brings to us, it will continue to come to us in one form or another until that lesson is fully understood and appreciated.

In other words, every adversity that comes our way comes to us to teach us something-to make us aware, to build our character, to shift our perspective, or to help us grow. Adversity comes to us for all of these reasons and more.

If you were to ask the most successful people you know how they handle adversity, they would likely tell you they understood that it held a valuable lesson for them. They would likely also tell you that they now hold that experiential wisdom and will carry it with them and not make the same mistake again. In addition, they also know they can share this wisdom with others to save them a similar negative learning experience. And, most will express their gratitude to God, Universe, Higher Spirit, or whomever that higher power is for them for having given them the opportunity to learn and grow through that adversity.

This is all part of our process in expanding our awareness and raising our level of consciousness. Although in the early stages of our expansion and growth it may seem contrary to us to show gratitude for any adversity, as we progress and learn, its purpose becomes very obvious and in fact crystal clear to us.

The point here is be aware, be present, and catch yourself if you fall back into a pattern of victimization or blame when adversity next knocks on your door. Accept the adversity, give it consideration, and embrace it for the lesson to be learned. Then show sincere gratitude for the lesson that came out of it and the adversity that brought you that newly acquired life experience.

You will then experience growth that will expand your character, knowledge, and consciousness to a higher level that serves you well and opens the doors to success, happiness, and fulfilment. And, you won't have to experience a repeat occurrence of a same or similar adversity the Universe is certain to send you until you get the point. This is only one of the many advantages of living life through a higher consciousness or as I like to refer to it, "from a soul perspective."

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peggy_L_Nelson

Performance: The Power of Mood

Optimism plays an important role in performance. How we feel, our state of mind, is really important. Einstein and Edison were known for taking nap breaks, and both are said to have attributed their genius to the ability to slow down and reflect, to relax. Insight research supports this idea that quieting the mind and feeling inspired and uplifted stimulates creativity. It is re-energizing and is often overlooked in high-performance strategies.

When we overwork, we can actually reduce our likelihood of success. Even beyond this fact, we are more likely to "burn out" when our mood is negative or when we feel overwhelm. One very empowering mindset shift is to understand that you are not a victim to your moods.

We are able to shift our mood quite quickly once we learn how to take back the steering wheel of our mind. Since we are a four-part being - comprised of spirit, emotion, mental and physical aspects - it is very helpful to address all four areas within your performance improvement plan.

Here are some tips that will cover all four areas to varying degrees:

1. Nutrition: Eat healthy and include healthy supplements that can also raise your mood, such as DHA/EPA omega fatty acids.

2. Sleep: Most people do not get the necessary six to eight hours of sleep per night to avoid stress and slow down aging. This is one habit that you can accelerate simply by turning off the technology distractions earlier.

3. Exercise and hydration: Aerobic exercise improves brain functioning too, and since our brain and body is, by far, mostly water, make sure you stay hydrated; it's critical to well-being and stellar performance.

4. Meditation: This is crucial for creativity and clarity, and can even help you raise your confidence by becoming more aware of how to eliminate negative self-talk and deal more astutely with your emotion.

5. Healthy Relationship: Happy relationships can support a happier YOU.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. ~Anonymous

Learning to self-manage your state of mind is essential to perform at your best. Learning how your brain optimally operates is a foundational principle to creating the mood that supports you at your best throughout the day and into the evening.

Mood is an expression of feeling. Emotional intelligence is smart from the heart, and is a concept whose time has finally arrived. 0What are you doing to self-manage your moods?

Valencia Ray, M.D. helps leaders and professionals to perform at their very best by reclaiming their true potential using The Art and Science of NeuroReInvention®. She sold her eye surgery medical business to take her purpose of restoring vision' to a whole new level. She now shows others how to expand the vision for their life and live with more purpose, passion and peace of mind. She is a speaker, consultant, author and executive coach.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Valencia_Ray,_MD

Increase Your Self Esteem and Lose Weight - 15 Tips for Making It Happen

Making positive changes requires strong self-esteem. Otherwise, you can easily get caught in the cycle of guilt, feeling like you don't deserve it and beating yourself up when you slip off the "diet" wagon. A healthy self-esteem also helps you to reduce emotional eating, a strong source of those extra pounds.

Most of us don't learn how to love ourselves more. Here are 15 proven strategies for loving yourself more - day after day. You may not want to - or be able to - do all of them at this point in your life. That's not a problem. Even making 5 or 6 of these changes in your life will have a noticeable impact.

So consider these - with an open mind - and chose a few to start now.

1. Treat others with love and respect. Bringing joy to other people's lives will help you find joy in your own. In addition, those that you treat well will likely repay you with the same kindness. Gradually, you will start to feel your worth through the smiles of gratitude.

2. Practice random deeds of kindness. Share your gifts, your time, your knowledge in a nice way - or make a donation to someone in need.

3. Express yourself in writing. Keep a journal or diary; write a short story; write poetry. Write about your experiences (good and bad) and your feelings about them. Get your feelings out - but not on your friends. Writing down your thoughts is particularly helpful when you are working to change your relationship with food.

4. Learn to let go of past events. Hurts, betrayals, disappointments - everyone has them. Acknowledge your feelings about them, but then work to put them behind you. Know that you have grown and changed from your challenges. And most importantly - forgive. Emotional eating can stem from anger, sadness and grief. Letting go will help.

5. Forgive yourself. Stop punishing yourself for something you did or said in the past. Look at that mistake/error as a learning experience. Resolve to not do/say it again and take steps to keep it out of your conscious thoughts.

6. Post positive affirmations in places where you will see them daily. Write short notes to remind yourself of what you like and love about yourself - big things or small. And read each one out loud as you come upon it - at least once/day. While working to change your relationship with food to become your desired weight permanently, affirmations about the body you are creating will provide additional motivation.

7. Celebrate your accomplishments! Don't beat yourself up over the things you have not done, because you may still do them! If you accept yourself, those around you will pick up your lead and follow.

8. List five positive words to describe yourself. Don't use generalities like "nice" - be specific. Memorize the list and repeat it to yourself every day - at least once.

9. Learn to say "no." And don't feel guilty about it! You do not have to do everything you are asked to do or attend everything you are invited to. It's your life - you have the right to say "thank you, but no" - gracefully. Do not overextend yourself just because you think doing something will make someone else happy. Always take care of yourself.

10. Take care of your body. Your body is a temple, so treat it carefully with respect and love. Keep your body healthy and strong with good nutrition and regular exercise. Since body, mind and spirit are all connected, taking care of yourself helps you take care of others - and feels a lot better!

11. Stop seeking perfection. Don't criticize yourself for not being perfect. Always try your best, and acknowledge that some things are your strengths, and some things are not. No one is great at doing everything. That's just part of being human.

12. Engage in life enhancers. Give yourself permission to have fun. Relax. Go for a bike ride or walk, go shopping, sit and read a book, go see that new movie. When you spend time doing something you love, you will experience joy, love and happiness in your being.

13. Learn to see beauty. When you learn to see beauty in the world around you, you will also see beauty in yourself as a part of that world. So stop to smell the flowers, see the leaves turning colors in the fall, watch the sun set, enjoy the first snowflakes of winter. Try to notice everything.

14. Expand your interests. Try doing something new! Visit places you've never been before; learn a foreign language; try a new ethnic food. Remember that you can have an awesome life - but it's up to you to make it happen. Emotional eating can happen when you are bored. Keep your mind engaged and active.

15. Tell yourself the truth. This might be the most difficult one, but to love yourself, you must be able to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the feeling of elation; if you are sad, acknowledge the unhappiness. When you tell yourself the truth about your real feelings, you no longer try to hide your negative emotions. But by acknowledging what you feel, you have a pretty accurate guide to what your thoughts are. Your thoughts can be changed - being present to how you are feeling and thinking will support the changes you are making in your relationship with food.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dee_Wolk

Commitment and Understanding Your Boundaries

So I was supposed to meet a friend yesterday, but he cancelled and rescheduled for today. Today the time we were meant to connect passed, so I followed up. Ahh, and he cancelled. What is the lesson in this?

Whether this person really was busy or not is beside the point. Similarly, as things shift in your life, there may well be legitimate reasons for what happens to you. Your tram being late might have been due to an accident or the road. You getting fired from a job might have been based on a restructuring. Or perhaps experiencing a burglary might have been due to an offender's mental illness... It matters not what the "other" thinks or feels or enacts- this is about you. Your learning (and wisdom) comes from YOU.

I strongly believe things happen in our life for a reason. And the reason, you ask? It is to learn. It is actually THAT simple. You're here to learn, and from your learning become wise. From your wisdom you can teach, and so the cycle goes on...

Why are lessons not clear?
When we experience an event, sometimes the lessons are not clear. This is due to getting "caught up" in emotions and thoughts of either the past or the future. If the person or event triggers you to focus your energy anywhere but in the present, you have lost you groundedness and ability to critical analyse the situation. This might be because the person in question is from your past, or that they remind you of a past relationship. Or that the person makes you think of a future you'd like to create (romantic/ business/ etc).

What is the importance of the "Here and Now"?
Being focused in the present allows you to think clearly. When you look at the present moment, you can assess things as if they are facts. Then you can draw on your past experience and wisdom, and make good decisions on the way forward. It also allows you to notice your feelings and thoughts in a kind of "witnessing". By witnessing, or watching feelings and thoughts, we can see what drives them. Most of the time it is fear, but it good practice to notice the changes in feeling and what they are connected to.

For example, to me, a cancellation with a rescheduling as follow-up is professional, considerate, respectful, honest and willing. I am more likely to accept this situation and this person. I am present in the moment. I feel a bit annoyed that there was cancellation, but open to the new time. The rescheduling demonstrates the other person values me and the appointment.

However, a cancellation that is not initiated by the person cancelling (unless I follow up), and then their response to my follow up does not contain a rescheduling is one is find unprofessional, inconsiderate, and disrespectful. Hence, I am less likely to accept this situation and this person. Now they seem unreliable, unable to commit and unwilling to see a way forward. I am present in the moment. I feel annoyed that there was a cancellation. I notice my thoughts are connecting past experience with flakey friends to this moment. And I notice I feel disregarded as they did not advise a rescheduling.

As I notice my feelings and thoughts, all I can do is be aware of the connections that come. I do not seek to change my reasoning, but becoming aware of the connections allows me a greater freedom to clarify my perspective on the matter, and to make GOOD DECISIONS moving forward.

Note- this kind of situation happens A LOT in dating. Generally though, women don't see the clear and obvious signs that "he's not into you", and they pursue the man in question. What I'd like to add here is that with dating (and honestly with any situation like this), the non-commital behaviour demonstrates that the other person doesn't value your time as much you would have valued theirs. And that fact alone now changes the relationship.

So, what could be the learning from experiencing a flakey friend?
Well, flakiness is basically a lack of reliability. This person is prioritising their life and you're not on the list.Boundaries become clear when you know what matters. You must know yourself and strongly believe in that point to apply a boundary with confidence.

Most people don't like flakey friends. Most people place a value on their time and their company. So what is the value? What exactly, for YOU is the line that's crossed when someone is flakey?

For me, it's about respect. For me, respect is showing kindness, openness and willingness in thinking of others. Specifically, respect is where someone else demonstrates to me that I matter to them. Where our paths cross, there are things I expect of a person. From a stranger, I expect very little. But when I know someone, or they are interacting with me in a more engaging manner, my expectation of receiving respect grows.

The learning of experiencing a flakey friend comes from defining your boundary value. Because your boundaries show you what you accept and do NOT accept in your life, you can see what matters to you, and the details of that one point. Take some time to think of your boundaries around flakey friends. What matters to you?

Write out your boundary value statement. It ought to look something like this:
I will not allow anyone to violate my boundaries. My boundaries are based on respect. To me, respect can only be demonstrated in actions. I respect myself, and I deserve respect from others. To me respect is: Reliability, Trust, Honesty, Openness, Willingness, Moving Forward, Considerateness, Commitment, Kindness, and positive follow-through. A respectful person shows these characteristics and honours me and my time and my company by showing that I matter to them.

Your boundary value may not be "respect". It might be trust, or love, or honesty. Your definition of the value may differ to mine, and that is all okay. This is an exercise for you to gain clarity and move forward with a healthy self-love approach to life.

So... Next time, flakey friend?

No way!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Autumn_S_O'Connor

The Need to Reinvent Ourselves

We all have our own "package" of education, knowledge, hobbies or beliefs that we try to nurture throughout life. There's no doubt that we tend to practice our hobbies more in young age as we tend to be busier later in life with work, family and raising kids, having thus less "me time".

Nevertheless, work might change, kids will eventually grow up and we'll be there wondering where we stand, finding ourselves a bit different of how we used to be. We surely might have grown up in other sides, yet, we may have not been giving ourselves the attention or care in other aspects as well. Yet, it never too late! No matter how old we are, we need always to nurture our inner self, learn new skills, and take care of our inner well being the way we usually do of our look.

We might spend a whole day shopping in the mall for the latest trend in boots and pants, yet remain with the same thoughts our whole lives. Have you ever considered spending one hour per day tackling your thoughts and trying to find alternative better ones instead? If no, then this might be a good idea to try, because the truth is that we are what we think. Our thoughts affect our emotional health, our physical health, our relationship with our family and acquaintances, etc. Every action starts with a thought. If someone wants to change his life, then she or he needs to start first and foremost by changing their thoughts.

There's a lovely Barney songs for kids entitled "Growing, we do it every day". Though it tackles our physical growth, yet the title applies perfectly to our inner growth as well. Reading a new book adds to our growth. So does learning new skills or knowledge.

Taking care of our health is part of our "self reinvention". Healthy diet, the one based on raw organic fruits and veggies and regular physical activities offer tons of benefit to our physical well being. Yet, we are more than a physical body. We have our "emotional" personality, our mental personality, our soul. The addition of our different selves make us who we are, a unique individual, born on God's image and being called for consciousness and increased awareness. For what is the meaning of life if not to rise in consciousness and awareness? And consciousness is only gained through practical experience, not theory at all.

Hence, Reinventing ourselves is a must do at every step of our life; seeking better higher goals is what gives meaning to our life and maybe what we owe to ourselves.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tina_B_Rizk

Are You Ready to Build a Solid Foundation?

Invest a little time to introspect and ask yourself - "How strong is the foundation of your life right now"? "Are you content that you have built a rock solid base, from which you can launch your future success"? I believe the foundation of your life is built on your values, which are comprised of your character, integrity, belief, loyalty and honesty. To truly be successful in life you need to ensure that you have a foundation, which is harmonious and based on all the crucial elements of your personal values.

I have seen people compromise on their values, where they have walked all over other people to acquire great financial wealth, using deceit as a tool for their success. These people appear to have all the flashings, which go with success, but they lack true friends and deep relationships with people, who matter. There are also those business professionals, who invest so much time into their corporate lives that they alienate their families, as they climb the corporate ladder. Or the business tycoon, who has acquired great financial wealth, but is lying alone in his bed in the hospital recovering from his second triple heart bypass operation. None of these people have an understanding of balance and harmony in their lives.

You must Invite Harmony or Balance into your Life

As my experience grows and the more I see people around me compromise on their values. Where they live lives, which are out of sync with the harmony and balance in the universe, the more convinced I become that we have a responsibility to not only focus on one element in our lives, at the expense of any other. We must strive for harmony and always remain in alignment with our authentic self. We can never be content or fulfilled, if we live in a place which is unbalanced or out of sync with the universe or our own inner values. Your values are the cornerstone of your happiness and contentment.

As you know, We are thinkers and Doers

We all think thoughts, which drive our actions or lack thereof. As you know we also act according to our most dominant thoughts. So if your dominant thoughts are focused on lack, negativity or losing, that is exactly what you will get to see in your life. I believe that we are all wonderful creators and winners in our own unique and special way. So if you want to achieve success and meaning in your life, you must act in alignment with your values and must remain focused on thinking positive developmental thoughts.

Now is the time to Think better thoughts

You are where you are, because of what you have thought up until now. So if you want to change where you are going to end up one year, five years or even ten years from now, you must change the way you think. Your thinking drives your choices and decisions, which in turn determine the actions you take or fail to take and as the actions you take or fail to take, determine the results you experience. The obvious way to improve your results is to change the way you think.

Build your Foundation Stones?

Invest some time to think about your values or the foundation stones I have described earlier in this article, namely character, integrity, belief, loyalty and honesty. These make up the raw materials your mind uses to create all its thinking. You are at the core of all your thinking. So as you can imagine your thoughts determine, what you have, what you do and are the key factors determining the results you will get to enjoy in your life.

They are effectively the code, which determines how your life will turn out in the end. Unlimited opportunity resides within you. It is time to accept that success is not a result of chance, but choice. Make the wiser choice right now and choose to be authentic, live according to your true values and success is yours for the taking.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=A_Horton

5 Top Tips On How to Be Motivated

Have you ever wondered how to be motivated?

It's no secret that in order to reach your personal development goals, you need a fire within, driving you toward success... but how can you find the daily motivation you need to bring you from where you are now to where you want to be?

Here are five tips that will help you discover how to be motivated in your life.

1. Choose a vision that inspires you. First and foremost, you must be working toward something that you feel passionate about. No matter how worthy your goal may be, if it doesn't fill you with enthusiasm and excitement, you'll struggle to find the motivation you need to follow through. Don't make decisions based on other people's expectations; instead, search within and find a path that fulfills you. There is nothing more motivating than pursuing your dreams.


2. Have a written description of your vision that you can refer to often. Once you've found a vision that inspires you, write it down in as detailed a manner as possible. Include every nuance: what it will look like, feel like, even smell like when you reach your goal. This is one of the most effective secrets you'll ever discover about how to be motivated. Remember: the more precisely you write your vision, the more motivation you'll find.


3. Create interim steps. Writing your vision isn't enough. You also need to pursue it! But be careful here: you can actually de-motivate yourself by setting unrealistic expectations. That's why experts who speak and write on how to be motivated often suggest that you break your long-term vision down into interim milestones. This will allow you to track your progress and celebrate smaller victories along the way.


4. Find an accountability partner. One of the best ways to get motivated is to find an accountability partner who will help you pursue your goals. Choose someone who isn't afraid to hold your feet to the fire. (For this reason, spouses and best friends are usually ineffective accountability partners; often, they're more invested in preserving their relationship with you than they are keeping you on track!) Instead, choose a motivational coach, colleague, or mentor who can give you a swift kick in the pants when you need it.


5. Surround yourself with motivational stories. As you learn how to be motivated, you'll probably discover that you need positive energy to fuel your fire. Surrounding yourself with stories and examples of people who have succeeded. Read motivational books, join a mastermind group, or subscribe to podcasts and blogs that inspire you. When you find your motivation waning, turn to your favorite resources to help you reconnect with your dreams.

The next time you find yourself wondering how to be motivated, keep these tips in mind and get energized! You'll find that you'll have more excitement, drive, and success as you pursue your goals.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Julia_Morrison

What to Do If Stress Is Robbing You of Sleep?

Insomnia is a condition that is described as the inability to fall asleep or remain asleep. It is an inability to get the amount of sleep you need to wake up feeling rested and refreshed. Insomnia is probably the most common sleep complaint in the world. It can be acute, lasting for just a night or several nights but not more than a month or it could be chronic, lasting for a month, several months or even years. Insomnia is caused by different conditions. Stress is a common cause but it should be noted that not all individuals who are under stress develop insomnia.

How to know if it stress-related insomnia

Many people who suffer from insomnia blame the sleep disorder on stress or worry. People can get stressed by different things-it could be the loss of job, sickness in the family, the death of a loved one, marital or relationship problems, a sales target that is hard to meet, etc. At times the anticipation of pleasant events like a person's forthcoming wedding, moving to a new house or planning a long vacation with family maybe also be causes of stress.

To know if your insomnia is stress-related ask yourself this question: When did I start having insomnia? If it is stress-related insomnia it should have come with the occurrence of the stress trigger and it should be resolved with the disappearance of the stress trigger. If your insomnia persists even if you are out of the stressful condition than chances are what you are experiencing is not stress-related insomnia. It could be some habit that you have like taking too much caffeine-rich drinks during the day or over-stimulating your body before bedtime that is causing the insomnia. It could also be cause by some health issues.

How to deal with stress-induced insomnia

Many individuals with stress-induced insomnia take sedatives to relax them so that they would eventually fall asleep. Some take prescription sleep medications. These medications are not cures for insomnia but just offer temporary relief. If not taken with care they may actually even worsen insomnia after some time. Medication should only be used as a last resort.

The first step in treating stress-induced insomnia is to deal with the underlying mental or emotional issues. Professional help might be necessary to for example enable an individual to settle relationship issues or to cope better with emotional turmoil brought about by the loss of a loved one. The individual should exert effort to identify the underlying cause of stress and to deal with the cause.

Relaxation techniques like yoga, tai chi, meditation,guided imagery and progressive muscle relaxation have all been found to alleviate stress. These relaxation techniques however have to be practiced on a regular basis to have a lasting positive effect.

Sleep is an important human activity. You should not let insomnia rob you of sleep. By exerting effort to address the source of your stress and by regularly practicing prescribed relaxation techniques you are bound to have restful sleep again.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Homar_N_Murillo

All Busys Are NOT Created Equal

My client Betsy started our coaching call last week by saying, "January was wild! My production was off the charts, triple my average. And I'm not sure why."

She was stumped. Her customer base was exactly the same. She'd worked a few extra hours, but certainly not three times as much. No new support, whiz-bang technology, or major change in the market.

So why were her results so different?

Turns out the why wasn't mysterious at all.

She'd deployed her time and energy differently in January.

It's not as if she wasn't working hard before.

Betsy is consistently ranked in the top 15% of salespeople at her company. Her customers love her and she has a great reputation internally.

She certainly hasn't been slacking... she's been busy!

But here's what she realized as we talked.

Before, she'd been investing a piece of her work-busyness in:

• getting ready to be ready,
• doing non-essential tasks to avoid potentially difficult conversations,
• working on things someone else could have easily done more quickly, and
• piddling around with a variety of low-impact and no-impact activities when she ran out of energy or mind-space to do something more useful.

What changed in January was that she stopped spending time on things that didn't have a meaningful impact. Instead, she shifted that time to activities that had the greatest potential for impact.

There's "good" busy and "not-so-useful" busy.

And it's not always immediately obvious which is which, until you pay attention to how each one feels.

When you're busy with tasks and activities that support your success and align with what's most important, it feels good. You know on a very deep level that you're making good choices and investing your time and energy - your busyness - in what matters, what's worthwhile.

On the other hand, when your efforts aren't moving you forward, making a difference, or bringing you joy, it's exhausting. That "not-so-useful" busy is frustrating and stressful; it feels like running hard and going nowhere. It's a busyness treadmill.

We're all at risk of landing on the busyness treadmill.

It doesn't take much running in place to wear you out, push a goal out of reach, or create stress and overwhelm.

When you step off the treadmill, you open up space to focus on what matters most to you: having an impact, leading your team, serving your clients, accomplishing a goal, spending time in your daughter's classroom, practicing yoga, community involvement, relaxing - whatever's important to you.

There are three things you need to do to keep your busy aligned with what matters most.

1. Practice awareness.

The busier you are, the easier it is to make unconscious choices.

When I stumble onto the busyness treadmill, it's not because I think it'll be fun or productive. It's because I've stopped being aware of how I'm making choices.

The best way to be aware of your choices is to have a process for paying attention.

Build a few minutes into the beginning, middle, and end of your day to assess what's most important. As you go through the day, notice where you're actually putting your attention, what you're choosing to do.

2. Be intentional.

You'll likely have days when you're feeling tired, unmotivated, overwhelmed, bored, or resistant. On those days it can be a struggle to keep your attention on what's most important.

Don't go unconscious and land on the busyness treadmill. Get intentional.

What's one productive thing you can do? Is there an itsy-bitsy step you can take to move towards a goal? And if you can't muster up even that much energy, then clean your desk, get organized for tomorrow, or simply leave early.

3. Act courageously.

A few days ago, Betsy ran out of fuel mid-day and felt herself losing focus. And she did something very out of character.

She left the office, surprised her kids at school, and enjoyed her afternoon. For her, that was an act of courage. She stepped through her worry about what her co-workers would think and walked right past the busyness treadmill.

It often takes courage to stop when you're tired, say "No" when the request will bump a higher priority, get past your own resistance, or take action on what's most important even when it's scary.

Awareness. Intention. Courage.

Live with all three and your busyness will yield highly fulfilling returns.

"Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to what they want to do." ~ Kathleen Winsor, novelist

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sherry_Essig

12 Action Plans to Make Your Dreams Unstoppable

"Life takes on meaning when you become motivated, set goals and charge after them in an unstoppable manner."Les Brown

Life is time-limited. You either get to finish what you started or end up being a professional procrastinator. With the communication crisis our society is facing today, it becomes that much more difficult to mono-maniacally focus on our dreams, visions and ideals.

Nobody cares what your deepest aspirations and ambitions are. All they care is that their expectations of you stay consistent with your actions. If you act differently it will stir anxiety for them. Everyone wants you to stay predictable. It's so much easier to categorize you under the 'No-fuss, boring and uninspiring' section.Lets draw out 12 simple plans of action for you to break out of this predictable mold and guard your dreams with your life:

1. LIFE IS MEANINGLESS without a meaningful dream. Do you think you're here simply to be a breathing and respiring living biological organism? The only thing valuable about you is the value of your dreams. Dreams are the reason for your existence. Your Raison d'être.


2. NO DREAM= NO LIFE. A soldier fights to defend the dream of the state. An employee fights to defend the dream of the company. Whose dreams are YOU fighting for?


3. BREATHE LIFE & BE INSPIRING We breathe air to preserve our life-cycle. Our bodies are secondary it serves a lower purpose. Our primary mode of living is in our soul. Our souls serves us to build a worthy dream.


4. ITS NEVER ABOUT YOU. Your dreams become lifeless as soon as the purpose of it is solely to serve your selfish motives. Being rich is alright. Being pompously stuck-up is not cool. Get your motives right.


5. NO ONE GIVES A PEANUT ABOUT YOUR DREAMS. Well, I'm the exception. You go to school, study hard finish college and work all to serve and build other people's dreams. This has got to stop!


6. BE A WARRIOR OF YOUR IDEALS. Fight like a martyr to defend what you believe in. The rewards will come. Be a man! Do the right thing!


7. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS SQUEEZE THE JUICE. Bad things happen for a reason, get to the bottom of the issue. Benefit from the loss. You can always transform any idea with the right perception.


8. MOVE FAST TIME IS LIMITED. Clock is ticking. Know the difference between building your dreams and staying a dreamer. Dreams are the feet to the soul. Start walking.


9. BRAINSTORM YOUR PLANS. Use your mind to execute your ideals. Network. Pitch and communicate. Do something real and be smart about making it happen. This is when you use your vision board!


10. CREATE FLAWLESSLY. Feeling lost? Don't know what to do? Awesome! It's your turn to invent value. Turn your potential into something useful. Got something you know that others don't? Do something and then charge premium price for it.


11. WHEN DREAMS BECOME NIGHTMARES, WAKE UP! A word of caution. Dreams and ideals aren't for everyone. When the ecstasy is way more than what you can handle, snap out of it! Get a pen or an I-Pad start typing your insights.


12. SERVE DIVINE. As the most intelligent living organism on this planet it is imperative that we use all we have to benefit others. Reach the deepest parts of your potential and serve the furthest part to your networks.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Omar_Hussien_Al-Attas

Always, Always Looking For The Positive

Quick question: Is the glass half full or empty?

Now before you think to yourself "Aww crap this is just more positive psych babble BS"... think for yourself for a second... Would life be easier, more joyful, happier, less stressful if I just looked at things a different way? Of course it would. That is ALL the dumb "glass half full" thing is all about. It's not psycho babble - it's actually true.

Now if this is the last paragraph you're going to read then fine - I wish you luck with your painful life - and believe me, the pain is all yours, you'll create it all in your mind because that's the only place it exists.

If you're still with me, congratulations. Being open to a different way of thinking is really all it takes to change your entire life. The problem is that 90% (probably more) of the population think that's too hard. No wait a minute, those people actually don't think at all, so let's not worry about them. Anyway - rant over... I just wanted to make a point and work out if you're actually serious about having a better life, because here's the harsh reality: No one is going to make it better for you, not the government, not your spouse, not your children, no-one but you. You're responsible for your reality and you can start by simply changing your mind.

I'm sitting here writing this listening to the rain outside and here's the simple choice presented to me: I can think about how crappy the weather is, OR I can think about how cool it is that I get to snuggle up in bed listening to the sound of the rain on the roof. OH AND, the garden's getting watered and the driveway is getting a hose down and the reservoir that feeds my water supply is getting filled up. All of a sudden, rather than focusing on the perceived 'crappy weather', I've turned that into 4 or 5 things to be thankful for.

Wasn't that hard, was it?

What if you could apply a similar principle to everything else that happens to you? Because stuff happens to you all the time - how you perceive it and react to it is a CHOICE... nothing more. My wife left me last year - yes I grieved, I still am today to a degree, but here's what I did. I sat down not long after it happened and I thought about all the GOOD that could come from such a life changing and devastating event. I filled an entire page up and I refer back to that as often as I can or need to.

Is this easy? Yes and No. Some things are harder than others - a marriage break up was pretty challenging I can tell you AND there were our two daughters to think about. BUT I CHOSE to focus on what could be, rather than wallow in what wasn't anymore. A simple decision. Talk about taking a terrible thing and turning it around. Again, that's just a decision. It hasn't been all rosy and positive, but I always have that list to refer back to - a reminder of what's possible, what's positive and what CAN BE.

The glass is half full in everything that happens to you... You just gotta look at it that way... That starts with a decision that you want to live a happier life. It's not about burying your head in the sand when shit happens, it's about choosing to look at it differently.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kieron_Atkinson

How Does Self Esteem Affect Your Life?

What is self-esteem? I always thought that self-esteem was basically the same as confidence, but they are actually quite different in meaning. If you look up the words confidence and self-esteem in the dictionary it can be confusing. In my own words, confidence is how others see us from the outside and self-esteem is how we see ourselves from the inside.

Here is a short story that shows the difference between confidence and self-esteem.

Janice is an office manager who works very hard at keeping the office organized and the work flowing smoothly. Her employees recognize her ability to maintain control and look to her as a confident individual. What they don't realize is that Janice has low-esteem. She may have excellent organizational and communication skills but she doesn't feel good about how she looks. Every day before going to work, she stands in front of the mirror looking at herself and worrying about her flaws and imperfections. She thinks she looks fat and ugly and wonders if anyone will make fun of her that day. It takes her a long time to get dressed, fix her hair and apply her makeup so she will feel good enough to even go out the door. When Janice gets to work, her employees can only see her outer confidence, they can't see her inner esteem, only Janice can see that.

Did you know that esteem is not something we are born with? Esteem is something that we learn from the people around us and our environment. So if you don't have much now, you can still learn how to develop it, no matter what age you are.

It is important to build good self-esteem as it affects every area of our life. It affects our behaviour, our attitudes, our emotions, our perception on life in general and how we interact with others.

Having strong esteem will help you:

• look at life with a positive perspective
• focus on your unique strengths
• challenge negative thoughts about yourself
• try new things
• make good decisions
• feel good about your self-image
• respect yourself and others
• make good relationships
• risk making mistakes in order to learn and grow
• set and reach your goals
• become successful

Many people struggle in their daily lives, wondering why they never seem to find happiness or success and aren't even aware that they have issues with low esteem. In order to find happiness and success in life, it is critical that we have both confidence and strong self-esteem.

How would you rate your esteem? Just quickly on a scale of 1(low) to 10(high), what number would you pick? Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I have a positive attitude?
2. Do I think my life has value?
3. Am I proud of my accomplishments?
4. Am I satisfied with the person I am?
5. Am I a good person with good qualities?
6. Do I have confidence in my abilities.
7. Am I able to accept criticism without feeling bad?
8. Do I have good friends that like me?
9. Do I feel comfortable talking to people?
10. Is my life a success?

The more 'yes' answers, the higher your esteem. However, there are times in life when situations and people will test our self-esteem no matter how strong it may be. Maintaining a good esteem should be a continuous process on our journey to find happiness and success.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brenda_J_Silveira